


Theories

by inbarati



Category: Burn Notice, Doctor Who, House M.D., Stargate Atlantis, Supernatural, Torchwood
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-16
Updated: 2010-04-16
Packaged: 2017-10-08 23:36:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/80658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inbarati/pseuds/inbarati
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just for fun, some theories on what goes on on certain shows when we aren't looking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Theories

**House:**

I'm convinced that House never actually has sex. Except for maybe that one time with Wilson.

But then Wilson said said something about the Kama Sutra, and House suddenly had a cure for some obscure disease based on position #23, and Wilson didn't get to come even though House already had, so now Wilson won't fuck him any more.

Even between girlfriends.

**Supernatural:**

Whenever Dean has a dirty thought about Sammy, he goes out and picks up a girl. He always makes sure she comes, but he mostly doesn't. Not that he can't, mind you. It just doesn't feel right. Like he'd be cheating on Sam somehow, even though it would be totally WRONG for them to be together.

**SGA:**

John is so not getting laid because Radek Zelenka is the GODDAMN MACK DADDY of the Pegasus Galaxy. Literally up to his ears in pussy or cock. Five people in his bed every time he so much as blinks. And Rodney is just too oblivious to notice.

**Burn Notice:**

Fiona is totally into pegging, which is why Michael always walks a little funny when she's around.

**Torchwood:**

Ianto puts Trazadone into Owen's tea so he'll get tired and go home early so he and Jack can shag in the Hub. Owen knows this, doesn't drink the tea, but goes home early anyway because if he wanted to see that he'd just have Tosh call up the CCTV files. Gwen's already seen some of the video. Rhys reaped the benefits later that night.

**Dr. Who**

If Donna Noble ever remembers, the force of her fury might stop the Doctor's hearts, even half a universe away. If she's close by, it'll take at least a month for the handprint to fade from his cheek. We will not speak of the broken nose or the swelling of the testicles. She will not consider this a waste of her final moments.


End file.
